Dear Ethereal.

Hey.

A day just passed like that, huh.

It's fast, isn't it.

Everything i say from here on is true, and weighted with meaning, dear.

In other words, everything i say comes from my heart.


Dear, six days or more have passed between us,

They were a painful six days.

They made me feel empty, to some extent,

Not having you at all, but,

That emptiness taught me value.

It made me treasure you more, so much more.

Wait, who am i lying to?


I'll correct that.

Those six days tore me apart.

It made me so strained i felt like i was single again without a proper breakup.

Everything seemed so different.

I had responsibilities with a group,

I had to take steps to energise everyone,

But as the days went pass, i just couldn't find that strength anymore.

I just felt so...pointless.

Like, how come i'm thinking so much for this group when my relationship is falling to bits?

It was like, evacuating a village, or town, because there's a fire,

And that fire's my own house burning down.

I hope you get the point.

It was painful, painful to bits.

I cried, i cried because as your boyfriend i'm just not capable of being there.

Haiz. I cried because i worried more about saving phone money just so i could talk to you

Rather than worry about you.

It's ironic, isn't it, not talking to you so i can talk to you more. Haha.

I cried because i worried about making everyone happy and hyped up,

Rather than worry about whether you're happy or not.

I could tell, behind every word in your messages hid a sense of emptiness within you.

I tried my best to keep my true feelings from you,

Although i did let them rip free occasionally.

"Bear with it dear," you'd say.

"Take care kay."

I just felt so frustrated. I just felt like screaming at you.

NO, YOU TAKE CARE DEAR.

FORGET ABOUT ME. YOU TAKE CARE, PLEASE.

I just didn't want you to feel sad.

Haiz, i confess, also, because i didn't have enough phone money.

Sorry, baby.

Actually, the reason why i'm almost broke is because,

I topped up my phone with my spares so i could talk to you.

It was all worth, don't worry dear.


I've never felt so empty before.

I always talk about ripping my heart out so i could show you how it beats.

You stole my heart, dear,

But that's really fine, because i'm still always nearby with it so i'm alive.

But, just where i was, i just felt so far.

I could feel myself turning terrible inside.

Like, i just felt so frustrated inside.

You may understand, when you go for your holiday.

Then again, you are a much more mature girl than me.

You're independent. You'll be fine, i'm sure.

Then again, you said the exact same thing to me.

"You'll be fine, i'm sure."


Alright, i've quit rambling for now, you can wake up dearie.


Dear, meeting you today was a....

Haiz. It was an emotional journey.

I'm really sorry about this morning, dear.

I won't completely blame my mom. It's my fault too.

I was just..about my dad, you know, dear.

Thanks for giving me so much, dear.

But, i really, really hate you, in a good-bad way.

Haiz. You give me too much, dear.

I hate you because you spoil me sometimes.

And sometimes, you just don't give me enough.

Today, after six days and more,

Of disastrous soul-wrenching.

I was more than prepared to go down on my knees.

And beg you for the things you could give me,

To heal me and patch me up,

Like you always do when we meet.

That's how much i needed you.

Dear, you're not just my girlfriend.

You're like, a mother to me,

I always find comfort in you,

I always find myself in you,

You do everything for me that,

Sometimes, hurts you and makes you sacrifice yourself,

But you still do it for me.

Dear, thank you.

Dear, don't ever, ever leave me.

We're at a stage where, really,

If any one of us leaves,

It could just tear each other apart.

I don't want it to happen. Six days taught me enough.


Alright. I'm starting to have a blank mind.

There's things i wish to say, but i'll have to slow down,

Because my mind's starting to become unstable.

I'm too in love with you dear.

I really, deeply, love you, my girl.

Please bear than in mind, and in heart.

And don't ever, ever forget it.


You heal my soul, dear.

The reason why i am today is because of you.

You're everything that everyone isn't to me.

You're a true friend, a real girlfriend.

Call it incest, call it whatever,

You're my mother to me.

You're caring,

Warm, soulful, kind,

Compassionate, tender,

Generous, loving,

Faithful.

I love you so much.

You're more than just a girlfriend to me.

You're everything.

You have been everything, you still are everything, dear.

Sometimes, as we kiss,

I just wish i could tell you exactly how much you mean to me.

Holding you isn't enough,

Kissing you isn't enough.

Haiz. I could explode with words if someone would create words for my emotions.


I'm tearing now, i'm sorry dear.

These are tears of joy, dear.

These are tears of joy, love, remorse,

They cleanse my soul, dear.

They just remind me always,

I'm loved.


I love you, dear.

Never, ever forget.

My words are true.

But they'll never be as true as the feeling in my heart.

I'm sorry, dear, i'd love for you to know that feeling inside me.


Then again, i know, my consolation comes from the fact that,

You're feeling the same way too.

I love you.