Peace Wish.

There's so many things going past in my life.

IB, week 5, day 4 of 5.

I gave chase to my targets, and i dealt with them effectively.

I reckon my work is consistent, my grades are stable.

My grades are a true display of hardwork. I should be proud of it.

The war isn't over. week 5 is nothing compared to what's ahead.

I've already bottlenecked once. Once in 5 weeks is one shot too soon.

The planner is filling up gradually.

Doing up tasks is like shooting targets down a range.

When i strike my assignment off the book, i don't feel accomplished.

I just feel relieved. Targets will keep coming, and i must hit all of them.

I can't afford to bottleneck again. Sleep never meant so much until now.


Twelve months approach in 3 days.

I fight a war where both mental and emotional strength face tests of endurance daily.

I pick my homework off, one at a time.

My heart sinks a bit more each day.

I still trod along. I count the number of days to the seventh.

I don't know why i count. I wonder if she knows i'm counting.

I wonder if she's counting it herself.

It's an exciting occasion, however, none of us seem to be keen on it.

A few weeks ago, when she peeled off the outer layer of her life,

I realised, 11 months ago, she was already shattered inside.

I didn't know. I failed to know. It was my doing that caused her to be that way.

Poor planning, poor foresight.

Haiz.


I should only blame myself for the way things are.

And i don't want to hear any muse song for a while.


IB, mom, girlfriend,

Beat me, hit me, ditch me,

Keep going at it.

I've endured more than this before.

Use me as your sandbag. I want to see how much it'll take before i break.


And you,

You were once perfect.

Stop allowing your new found flaws to open up and take over your life.

If you want to go, go.

If you're going to stay, at least act like you want to stay.

Don't stay to keep telling me why you don't deserve me and all that.

Actions speak louder than words.


I'm sorry.